i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
