whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
