It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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