Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
