i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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