I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
