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Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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