I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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