Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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