"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
