my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
