U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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