yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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