would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
