i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My feet surprised me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
