just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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