I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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