none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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