gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
