Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
