Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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