i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
