when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
