Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There r osticjed everywhere
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Randomize