farters have to be the big spoon...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
