He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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