Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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