careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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