matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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