it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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