it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i love accidental penises.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
