I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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