There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
