Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
only you would photoshop your dick
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
