I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
