Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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