and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
