I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
COCAINE IS GR8
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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