I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
