That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
