She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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