You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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