Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
