YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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