I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
