Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
