i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
