Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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