One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
