I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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