I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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