Just fell off a train. Bad.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
